RYANAIR FUN

A place where you can add your jokes (Clean !!) Also Trivia questions, stories not related to Corfu (funny ones), quizzes on music, television. etc etc.

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Etsiketsi
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Ryanair Chase at Cheltenham

Post by Etsiketsi » Thu Mar 12, 2009 3:08 pm

Imperial Commander won the Ryanair Chase over 2m 5f at Cheltenham Races today.

Rumour has it that the Jockey's were charged £25 to Weigh In.

Rog

Chris
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RYANAIR MECHANICAL CHECKS

Post by Chris » Thu Mar 19, 2009 3:58 pm

This is an actual report procedure:

After every flight, Ryanair pilots fill out a form, called a "Cheapsheet" which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the cheapsheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Ryanair pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers (marked with an M).

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
M: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
M: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
M: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead insects on windshield.
M: Live insects on order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 60metre per minute descent.
M: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
M: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
M: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
M: That's what friction locks are for
.
P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
M: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
M: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
M: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
M: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
M: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
M: Cat installed.

And the best one for last………………
P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
M: Took hammer away from midget.

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Re: RYANAIR FUN

Post by Al » Thu Mar 19, 2009 8:41 pm

:goodp: :goodp:

That was Great,, nice one Chris

Regards

Al :cool:

Chris
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Re: RYANAIR MECHANICAL CHECKS, AND THERES MORE

Post by Chris » Thu Mar 19, 2009 10:51 pm



I like this one, in particular because of recent news on this subject last week.

P.. Passangers complain that they are unable to get a Wii to work onboard.

M.. Insert £1 in the coin mech on the door to cure the problem.




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